Ex Missing Me but Dating Again
Making your ex miss you is an important part of trying to win them back (bold that is what you are going for.) A few weeks ago a coaching client of mine asked a really interesting question,
Chris, I realize that the no contact rule is designed to help make your ex miss you only is in that location annihilation else I tin can practice to enhance the chances of this happening?
That's a great question!
In fact, it was so good that I decided to craft a whole mail service about it.
So, that'southward what this commodity is. I'm going to teach you three things that yous can practice, on top of the no contact dominion, and then that you tin ensure that you are doing everything you tin to make your ex miss you lot.
The 3 Well-nigh Effective Means To Brand Your Ex Miss You During No Contact
Before I begin writing every article on this website it undergoes a pretty intense enquiry procedure.
Usually I come up up with a few hypotheses and either try to prove them or disprove them. I'm a big believer in using inquiry so that over time we can guarantee that we are getting to the lesser of the best way to get an ex back.
Anyways, when it came time to expect for the most constructive ways to make an ex miss you during a no contact rule only three strategies made the cutting.
- Stay disciplined and actually finishing the no contact rule
- Make your ex believe they've lost you forever
- Employ subliminal messaging
What I'd like to practise now is take an in-depth look at how you need to employ these three strategies.
i. Staying Disciplined And Actually Finishing The No Contact Rule
I was planning on making a large speech about this because this is something that I drill over and over again in my program simply I figured before I start doing that you probably need a quick primer on what the no contact dominion really is.
In brusque, the no contact dominion is a specific strategy that yous utilise when you are trying to get your ex back. You basically ignore your ex for a period of fourth dimension on purpose with the intent of making them miss y'all.
I've written nigh information technology a lot and have even written an entire book nigh it.
Oh, I've even filmed a lot of videos about it too,
(If those things won't teach you most the no contact rule I don't know what will.)
Of grade, explaining the no contact rule isn't why I'grand writing this department. Instead, I'd like to talk to yous well-nigh the people who fail the no contact rule.
In my experience around 80% of the clients that I work with end up declining the no contact rule.
Now, only so we are speaking the aforementioned language when I talk about "failing the no contact rule" I'm talking nigh people not completing it.
The Problem With Not Completing The No Contact Rule And How It Makes Your Ex Miss You
The no contact rule utilizes two important psychological principles that actually make information technology effective.
- The scarcity principle
- Reactance
Here's a quick crash grade on those principles for those of you who desire me to get to the point.
The Scarcity Principle: We are drawn to things that are scarce. The perceived attractiveness of those things are raised when we learn in that location aren't many left.
Reactance: When freedoms are taken from us human beings volition exercise everything in their power to get that liberty back. So, with no contact y'all are depriving your ex of their liberty to talk to you and they will probable react in was to get that liberty back
Together these two concepts do much of the piece of work to brand the no contact dominion so effective.
There's just one problem.
As stated above, 80% of the clients I work with neglect the no contact rule.
Now, what does that hateful?
Well, information technology ways that when they set a goal to ignore their ex for xxx days directly they stop up contacting them or responding to them on day 10 and then day 15 and then day 25 until they finally get to day thirty and they proclaim to the world,
"I finished no contact"
No….
You actually failed no contact.
Sleeping Example
Consider for a moment this scenario.
Allow's say you have two people,
Person A and Person B.
Now, these ii people are identical in every way except ane.
Person A gets 8 hours of sleep at dark that is uninterrupted while Person B still gets 8 hours of sleep but is interrupted 6 times and wakes upwards each of those times.
Who do y'all call back will be more than productive the next solar day from an energy perspective?
Person A, correct?
Well, breaking the no contact rule early on is a lot like becoming Person B. You are interrupting the natural process that the no contact dominion is supposed to enact.
And to further reiterate that point I'd similar to movement on to my 2nd point.
2. Making Your Ex Believe They've Lost Y'all Forever
Final dark, while I was doing the dishes my wife walked upwardly to me and began venting well-nigh someone in our private facebook group who wasn't exactly taking her advice. Now, the matter y'all take to know about my wife is that she probably spends more time talking one on i with people than I do (crazy, correct?)
While I was commiserating with her on the fact that this particular person wasn't taking her advice she said something very insightful.
I was trying to explicate to this person that our entire process emulates moving on.
Now, you may read that statement and literally pull i of these,
But I hope yous that her observation is 100% spot on. Look, I've been doing this for about of the decade and I've learned a lot in that time.
What never ceases to amaze me is the fact that often when women try to difficult to get their exes back they fail. Withal, it's when they become pushed to a point where they are going to give upwards that they kickoff to get results.
When I brought this up to my wife terminal dark she nodded her head in agreement and added on that you can't fake "moving on" and sometimes that is the very thing you need to convince an ex of in lodge for them to take yous seriously.
I know it sounds so counter-intuitive.
You came here wanting communication on how to get your ex back and we simply say "motion on."
I try to teach people to look at it differently.
Instead of viewing it as moving on from your ex I say to view it as "moving on without moving on" considering make no mistake about it while we have constitute a thread of success in "moving on" everything we suggest people to do is washed with the intent of winning that person dorsum.
The Problem With "Moving On Without Moving On"
Like I said higher up, I've been doing this for a very long fourth dimension which means I've seen how people interact with our content.
I see the things they like to read about…
And the things they don't…
I also come across what strategies people put into practice.
The big problem I see with "moving on without moving on" is the fact that no i does information technology. We are slaves to our own desires and we desire our exes. Moving on requires y'all to piece of work on not desiring your ex and that is really hard for people to do.
In fact, it'due south when men and women lose all hope that they start to see results because that's when they essentially give up.
And so, here is my challenge to you.
During your no contact period rather than obsessing about your ex do everything you can to pretend to be moving on. Make it look at authentic as possible. I would get into details but honestly I comprehend this in-depth in my articles on social media.
three. Utilize Subliminal Messaging
Do you like ninjas?
I do…
I have no idea why I am talking about that other than the fact that I believe that what I am almost to teach you comes as close to a "ninja technique" as I take ever seen.
Subliminal letters are stimuli that prevarication below our threshold of conscious awareness
The idea is that if you tin can interest the stimuli in your ex related to you, you lot tin hijack his thoughts without ever having a direct conversation with him.
I'll give you an example.
In 1999 a test was performed to further understand subliminal messaging.
The participants were nowadays at a liquor store and researchers found that when German music was played German vino sales increased and when French music was played French vino sales increased.
So, what happened hither?
Well, the music served every bit a sort of catalyst that caused the wine most closely related to the blazon of music to be more than attractive to people.
How does this relate to the no contact rule?
1 of the biggest fears that people have when they brainstorm a period of no contact is that they think their ex is going to forget them (I've never seen it happen.) Notwithstanding, if you are terrified of this then subliminal messaging is your best friend.
Finding Your Catalyst
In the example higher up I talked about how music raised vino sales. In that example "music" was a catalyst meant to interest the stimuli below our consciousness which in plough makes particular types of wines more than attractive.
What we need to do for you now is find a catalyst for you to use during the no contact rule and so that y'all will appear a more attractive pick for your ex when your period of no contact ends. Oh, and information technology'll have that added benefit of making your ex miss y'all more.
Here's the tricky function, your catalyst can't be a consequence of a conversation you take with your ex.
It has to exist something a scrap removed from you and sometimes even out of your command.
Any ideas?
The all-time one I've been able to find has been the utilise of social media.
It'south been well documented on this website that afterwards a breakup close to ninety% of exes will "stem" their exes on social media (Facebook being the well-nigh popular social media site for this.)
A few years ago someone in our Private Facebook Group had the brilliant idea to use Facebook in tandem with some subliminal messaging.
Her theory was unproblematic,
If I'm at the tiptop of my exes Facebook news feed every time he logs on it's going to force him to call up about me constantly during the no contact dominion and eventually he will miss me so much he is going to want to see me.
Her theory proved to be correct and she did eventually get him back.
However, she had to do a few things first. In guild to guarantee that she would be at the elevation of the Facebook news feed she ended up hiring a social media company to help improve the social signals to her posts so that it'due south always at the top for him.
Information technology was a brilliant catalyst.
You lot just demand to find yours!
Sources And Citations
- world wide web.psychologytoday.com/us/weblog/the-attraction-doctor/
- www.nickkolenda.com/subliminal-messages/
Source: https://www.exboyfriendrecovery.com/how-to-make-your-ex-miss-you-during-no-contact/
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