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Answering Telemarketers Funny You Want Eggroll

Written By domingo, 3 de julio de 2022 Add Comment Edit

40 Replies

  • It's a good article and I'll try to remember that on the next call I get.

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  • You can also troll some of them pretty well until they do not want to call you back. I liked the one on youtube where he answered yes to every question.

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  • I drastically reduced my telemarketing by giving all false information. I never tell them my name or the company I work for. This the spiel I give them:

    Telemarketer: Hello....

    Me: I am sorry but everything is handled through out corporate office. Please call Faye, Kennit (say it slow to them) at XXX-XXX-XXXX. (The number I use is a local dial a story for kids at the library.)

     Telemarketer:  Thank you.

    Me: You are very welcome (with an evil grin) and hang up.

    I have had a few call back and it is hard to keep a straight  face but I insist that they are having phone troubles and to keep trying.

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  • I use that phrase regularly...and often get the response "it may take our system up to x weeks to remove you. Please don't be upset if you get a call during that time." Is it still illegal for them to call me back (within those x weeks) when I've registered on the DoNotCall list *and* just told them to put me on their DoNotCall list?

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  • At work my admin screens my calls so I don't have to deal with them.  At home it got so bad that I had my home phone turned off.  The no call list apparently didn't work for me.  I have learned however that people conducting surveys are not required to abide by the no call list so now my cell is blown up with survey calls.  This needs to be illegal.  What right do they have to invade my time.  I thought about getting an old PC, modem and phone line and write a program that calls them back every 2 minutes and see how they like but but since I am the little guy I would go to jail they the surveyors would spam my kids cells.

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  • http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVKyUFI1b1c

    Troll troll troll, I'm sorry if I make it seem like I'm irrational, or make them upset, I find it amusing, sure let them call back, I'll just have more fun :-).

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  • If I don't know the number I sometimes answer as, "hello thank you for calling jade dragon chinese, how can I help you?  Would you like to try the number 2 combo, it is on special today, side of shrimp and egg roll".

    I think my accent is a little more insensitive though.... and then I just mess with 'em until they hang up :-).  No-one wants to try my Purr Meow Mein for some reason.

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  • I prefer to answer with my Christopher Walken voice. I also like to act like they are my grandchildren finally calling for the first time in months.

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  • I put my number on the Do Not Call Registry as soon as I got my number. Nothing yet, we shall see though in the future.

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  • EvanAlmightyyy wrote:

    I put my number on the Do Not Call Registry as soon as I got my number. Nothing yet, we shall see though in the future.

    Evan's number is973-409-3277 feel free to troll him now. 

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  • I had a call from a telemarketer asking for my wife, but using her previous last name. I told them no one lived here with that name. Haven't gotten a call back, and I didn't even have to lie.

    EDIT: I had a friend that received a call for her husband while he was at work. She just started bawling on the phone, crying her eyes out saying he was deported because there was a typo on his papers. She then pulled the phone away and the telemarketer could hear her say "No sweety, daddy isn't on the phone. He'll be back when he gets his papers taken care of. I know sweety, I miss him too."  The whole thing was a lie, but she never got a call back.

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  • RAM. wrote:

    Evan's number is973-409-3277 feel free to troll him now. 

    Evan doesn't live in New Jersey. I smell a Rick Roll, or something worse.

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  • I wonder why people don't believe that is my number...

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  • I have call waiting at home. If I don't recognize the caller's # I don't answer. I assume that after 3-4 calls they give up if they NEVER get anyone. I have my wife and son both trained.

    They DID get me to answer once a couple of weeks ago, somehow they were able to put a VT number as their return number. It was from a town I used to live near so I thought it was legit. Now I don't answer anything. This is why I like having a machine instead of voicemail at home: I can listen to see if the call is a legit one and I can pick up if it is. Living in rural VT, I can't just use the cellphone. With weather events, like the one that will hit us tomorrow, often the cell towers are affected, their signal is reduced enough to kill the meager signal we already barely have...

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  • SQLRage wrote:

    RAM. wrote:

    Evan's number is 973-409-3277 feel free to troll him now.

    Evan doesn't live in New Jersey. I smell a Rick Roll, or something worse.

    Its a corporate number, he telecommutes... how do you rick roll a phone number?

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  • RAM. wrote:

    SQLRage wrote:

    RAM. wrote:

    Evan's number is 973-409-3277 feel free to troll him now.

    Evan doesn't live in New Jersey. I smell a Rick Roll, or something worse.

    Its a corporate number, he telecommutes... how do you rick roll a phone number?

    Who's rolls are Ricks?

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  • RAM. wrote:

    Its a corporate number, he telecommutes... how do you rick roll a phone number?

    There are tons of numbers out there for rick rolls and rejection hotlines, thing like that. I would provide a link but I am going to avoid those sites at works because they can be a little iffy.

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  • use one of these (or one of the others like them) and see how fast you can lose friends.

    http://www.prankdial.com/pranks/rick-roll-song

    http://www.comedycalls.com/View/Rick_Roll

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  • EdC wrote:

    use one of these (or one of the others like them) and see how fast you can lose friends.

    http://www.prankdial.com/pranks/rick-roll-song

    http://www.comedycalls.com/View/Rick_Roll

    my favorite is the def people assistance for phone calls :-P, some poor sad sack out in the world had to read what I typed to someone whom I wanted to troll.... I don't know how the person on the end that had to read kept it together but... they did.... out of the X amount of calls, apparently only one person laughed.

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  • RAM. wrote:

    EdC wrote:

    use one of these (or one of the others like them) and see how fast you can lose friends.

    http://www.prankdial.com/pranks/rick-roll-song

    http://www.comedycalls.com/View/Rick_Roll

    my favorite is the def people assistance for phone calls :-P, some poor sad sack out in the world had to read what I typed to someone whom I wanted to troll.... I don't know how the person on the end that had to read kept it together but... they did.... out of the X amount of calls, apparently only one person laughed.

    I'm a horrible person.... but sorry the girls shipment of [content removed by moderator] finally shipped, and we needed to confirm she was who she was, it was going to arrive in ten boxes, each 4 feet long, containing a bunch of [content removed by moderator].  She hated me after that :-D.  Win.

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  • Shelly3360 wrote:

    I use that phrase regularly...and often get the response "it may take our system up to x weeks to remove you. Please don't be upset if you get a call during that time." Is it still illegal for them to call me back (within those x weeks) when I've registered on the DoNotCall list *and* just told them to put me on their DoNotCall list?

    Hmm, that's a really good question...I checked https://www.donotcall.gov/ and here's what they say (emphasis mine):

    "The National Do Not Call Registry gives you a choice about whether to receive telemarketing calls at home. Most telemarketers should not call your number once it has been on the registry for 31 days. If they do, you can file a complaint at this Website. You can register your home or mobile phone for free."

    So I could be wrong, but as far as the US National Do Not Call Registry is concerned, if you're on their list for less than 31 days, then you may still be fair game to the telemarketers. After that, you're off limits.I think the US National Do Not Call Registry is different from the internal call registry of a particular company, so as the article says, if you aren't on the National Registry, get on it:

    "It's illegal for a company to keep calling you if you're on this list and you have verbally asked them not to call you at least once."

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  • So, I truly hate when toner salespeople call.  They always get the receptionist and then ask what model copier/printer you have and whamo, the toner shows up at your front door a few days later with an invoice.  I've had it happen more than once.  So, I told the receptionist that next time anyone calls and asks what model printer/copier we have just to say "It's the FU1000"...

    The first time she used it she came running over to my desk and said it was the most awesome and rewarding thing she ever did because the person got all huffy and puffy and then hung up on her.

    Now, I know, I know, the copier/toner salesperson is a person and has feelings and is just doing a job, but I don't feel so bad when they're purposely calling people that have no purchasing authority and then sending product we never actually asked for.

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  • I have Comodo Mobile Security and it has an automatic call blocking feature that has cost me some calls from my boss before I confirmed it was my bosses number. But no telemarketer calls on my cell.

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  • TimInTexas wrote:

    I have Comodo Mobile Security and it has an automatic call blocking feature that has cost me some calls from my boss before I confirmed it was my bosses number. But no telemarketer calls on my cell.

    Is that an app or a service you subscribe to?

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  • My favorite way to take care of telemarketers, courtesy Tom Mabe:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-7OgWcwgB50

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  • Thank you. Nice to get some fresh ideas.

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  • Pickles or Cheesecake

    I mess with them, very politely and calmly. I have fun with them.

    Pickles or Cheesecake, is pretty well all I would say to this one Lady that called. And she was pretty determined to have me answer even one of her questions. I told her I wouldn't answer her questions unless she answered mine. Pickles or Cheese Cake.... She wouldn't, then would ask can I just ask you.... No Pickles or Cheesecake.

    I had her on the phone for about ten minutes. She never did give me an answer. But neither did I...

    My niece who was listening in was just pissing her self laughing.

    Don't get to many call backs.

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  • TimInTexas wrote:

    I have Comodo Mobile Security and it has an automatic call blocking feature that has cost me some calls from my boss before I confirmed it was my bosses number. But no telemarketer calls on my cell.

    Now that sounds like a win/win scenario.

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  • Remember that the National Do Not Call registry is not for business numbers, home and cell only. Also, 'they' are not allowed to use recorded messages, and they must disclose certain information within the first 30 seconds (IIRC) of the call, like their name, who they are representing, their location, their purpose.

    Just because Evan's in FL doesn't mean he can't have an NJ number. Google Voice would be one way to do this.

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  • Limey wrote:

    Remember that the National Do Not Call registry is not for business numbers, home and cell only.

    Oooh, I didn't know that...that's important info!

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  • That toner scam is the absolute worst. That happened here too. Just a sorry way to make a buck.

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  • DanLong wrote:

    I had a call from a telemarketer asking for my wife, but using her previous last name. I told them no one lived here with that name. Haven't gotten a call back, and I didn't even have to lie.

    EDIT: I had a friend that received a call for her husband while he was at work. She just started bawling on the phone, crying her eyes out saying he was deported because there was a typo on his papers. She then pulled the phone away and the telemarketer could hear her say "No sweety, daddy isn't on the phone. He'll be back when he gets his papers taken care of. I know sweety, I miss him too."  The whole thing was a lie, but she never got a call back.

    When I was a kid, my neighbors had trained their son to answer telemarketer calls with "Hold on, mommy is still locked in the bedroom and hasn't come out for a few days, I don't think she'll be able to talk to you," and we all thought it was really funny until one of the telemarketers actually followed up and reported it to law enforcement thinking that the poor woman was dead and her poor kid was about to starve to death.

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  • I get rid of telemarketers by wasting their time. Got lots of fun ideas to do so... :)

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  • I get them from http://www.callercenter.com/articles/14waystoannoytelemarketers.html . Nuisance callers can call me anytime of the day EXCEPT WHHEN I'M SLEEPING and I'd gladly talk to them. :)

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  • At another job we had a fictional guy with title and VM box.  Occasionally callers would call and immediately ask to speak to this made up guy.  Transfer them, hang up, and laugh my ass off.

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  • I get the tips from Callercenter. There are about 14 ways listed there. Nuisance callers can call me anytime (except when I'm sleeping) and I'd gladly talk to them. :)

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  • Goalie1 wrote:

    Now, I know, I know, the copier/toner salesperson is a person and has feelings and is just doing a job...

    But they're doing the job they chose. You can't feel too bad for them at that point.

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  • I can't believe nobody else posted this yet. Apply liberally to the affected area!

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  • What happened to the Do Not Call list? I feel like people have gotten a hold of my work phone and are hitting me up for everything. I almost expect it at home but not at the office.

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  • Shannon (Peak 10) wrote:

    What happened to the Do Not Call list? I feel like people have gotten a hold of my work phone and are hitting me up for everything. I almost expect it at home but not at the office.

    Work numbers are not allowed on the DNC list.

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Source: https://community.spiceworks.com/topic/457293-i-m-a-telemarketer-here-s-how-to-get-rid-of-me

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